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To all the men of Armstrong:

guys only superbown opedOpinion piece by Bradley Mullis

To all the men of Armstrong:

Are you tired of self-righteous women bruising our fragile male ego every second they get? Let me tell you something fellas, I personally can’t stand it. Every time we as men turn around, it seems as though women are bellyaching about something, whether they’re wanting us to stop telling them how to dress, or telling them what medications they’re allowed to use, or even something so trivial as trying to understand why they won’t have sex us with us when we want it.

I know we’re all sick of women bothering us about such meaningless drivel, but as the Super Bowl approaches this upcoming weekend, we know they’re only going to ruin the one moment of testosterone-fueled happiness that we get once a year. If only there was a place men could go to enjoy this violent, back breaking event…

But wait… There is. An Armstrong student who shall bask in nameless glory, has taken the initiative to create an event called “Superbowl Party(Guys Only)”, which is apparently sponsored by the Baptist Collegiate Ministries. That’s right guys, if your girlfriend, fiancé, wife, or FWB starts giving you a hard time, just pop on over to the Science Center in room 1402 to join the Baptist Collegiate Ministries so that you can stew in a room that will probably end up reeking of pizza farts and other men agreeing that “yeah, chicks would have just made this so not fun dude hahaha.”

Students of Armstrong, I can’t tell you how happy I am to see a religious organization finally come out and just say that there are some events where women are not welcome. It’s such a feeling of relief to see that there are still a couple of good guys around who still know the value of eating food in a cold room while watching pumped up men ruin their bodies on a round-backed Vizio and chuckling while they say “no homo” whenever they bump into one another accidentally.

About The Inkwell (868 Articles)
A compelling news source at Armstrong State University since 1935.

5 Comments on To all the men of Armstrong:

  1. Chaz Wentworth // February 4, 2016 at 10:42 pm // Reply

    As a former Armstrong student- Dude you are taking this way out of context. Sometimes dudes just wanna be dudes and having females around can ruin that. I’ll be honest, the only chix who would have a problem with not being invited to this event are the same girls who get mad when I tell them to smile when I see the on campus. Get outta here with your PC nonsense and let’s make America great again #trump2016

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  2. Sarcastic, smug dribble. You must have patted yourself on the back so hard after writing this. Meanwhile events where men are barred are all good because men are pigs right?

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  3. STUNNING. Thank baby Jesus for Bradley Mullis.

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  4. Anonymous // June 4, 2016 at 2:40 am // Reply

    It could simply be that one member of that organization wanted to have a guys only party and it isn’t representative of the whole organization. Regardless, its a private event and he can make it exclusive if he desires. It sounds like you are using this simple party to make an attack on the on campus religious organization. So far what I’ve read is a sarcastic post with no real sustenance that, frankly, a toddler could’ve have slammed out on a keyboard. Sure, the guy may have made a mistake by putting bcm on the poster but it was within his every right to make it guys only since, to me it seems, it was a private event. Fraternities are male only yet you don’t attack those, why? Because there are female counterparts. Any woman could’ve created their own Superbowl party and made it females only, as is their right. And don’t group all men into this shit like we all think that.

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