Weekly Forecast with the Nihilistic Astrologer

I Was Going to Print All the Horoscopes But Then I Thought, What’s the Point?

Not only is it Libra season, but on top of that, the annual new moon in your sign arrived on October 8! This is a one time a year occurrence, and it is perhaps your only chance to start fresh. It’s time to cultivate the soil and plant seeds you would like to witness coming to fruition in the next six months.

Don’t worry, I don’t mean getting your dainty little hands dirty (although actually getting some work done for once would do you some good, instead of always manipulating others into doing the dirty work for you).

The stars told me to tell you to stop being as lazy as a billionaire’s last-born daughter. Libras are the people who use all of the toilet paper and relish in the idea of inconveniencing the next person. That’s probably bad karma- lucky for you, karma doesn’t exist.